Absolute Randomness...

NYC is a Hellish pit of stagnant air and stifling humidity. So pardon me for being a tad bit uninspired today. To make up for my mood here are some random thoughts for you to ponder about. I find these absolutely hysterical...hopefully you will too!


How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a
'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies
wake up like every two hours?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

Why, Why, Why


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know
there is not enough money?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when
you throw a revolver at him?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your
first try?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons
are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

XoXO Pinky